The Quest
by ZenoNoKyuubi
Summary: Naruto and Gaara, two traveling bounty hunters who were raised by Hidan and Kakuzu, suddenly gets a visit from Kami. They will have to find four allies to help fight an unknown enemy. Immortal!Perverted!Super!Naruto Greedy!Brutal!Super!Gaara
1. Meeting Kami

Summary: Naruto and Gaara, two traveling bounty hunters who were raised by Hidan and Kakuzu, suddenly gets a visit from Kami. They will have to find four allies to help fight an unknown enemy. Immortal!Perverted!Super!Naruto Greedy!Brutal!Super!Gaara Will be a couple of crossover. Pairings undecided.

First of all, don't pressure me to update. I'll update whenever I finish a chapter. There's so much shit going on in my life right now, I don't think I'm gonna be able to write as well anymore. So please, no pressure.

--LINE--

Naruto and Gaara were just casually walking through an old forest.

Naruto was a nineteen year old blond with slitted, blue eyes and three whisker marks on each cheek, wearing a pair of combat boots and black leather pants with bandages around his arms up to his shoulders. He had a three bladed scythe strapped to his back with thick, black leather strap going diagonally across his upper body (Think a black version of Kisame's strap).

Gaara was also a nineteen year old with the same hairstyle as Naruto, only his hair was red. He had teal eyes with black rings around them, a clear sign of insomnia. He was wearing black ninja sandals, black hakama pants and a white tank top with a large gourd strapped to his back.

Naruto looked up into the sky.

"It's almost time for me to pray." he said making Gaara sigh.

"You just prayed fifteen minutes ago!" he growled. "And how can you tell? You never pray at the same time every day. You just look up at the sky and say that it's time for you to pray."

"I can feel when it's time for me to pray." Naruto said, crossing his arms.

"Then why do you look up at the sky?"

"Because it makes me look cooler."

Gaara was just about to encase Naruto in his sand when a light suddenly surrounded them.

"What the fu-" Naruto started but was interrupted by a womans voice from behind them.

"Please try to refrain from swearing in my presence."

Turning around, they saw a woman who looked to be in her mid twenties with long, blond hair that reached down to he knees wearing a plain, white kimono.

"Who the he-" Naruto started, but stopped when he received a glare from the woman. Oddly enough, and much to Gaara's surprise, Naruto got a different tone in his voice and became much more polite. "I'm sorry, but who are you?"

Gaara just stood there, wide eyed. Naruto just apologized!

"I go by many names, but you know me as Kami." the woman said with a smile making the two go wide eyed. Gaara's eyes, which already were wide, started to look like saucers.

"Kami?!" Naruto asked, staring at the goddess incredulously. "What do you want with us? We don't even pray to you!"

"I know that." Kami said with a nod. "But I'm not just here on my behalf. I'm here on the behalf of every god. By the way, Jashin is very proud of you, being so devoted to him." she said making Naruto beam with pride.

"Really?"

"Yes. We all think it's very unusual. Usually, the last follower of a religion change it when he realizes he or she is the only one left in it. I wish you would show me such devotion..." Kami said and sighed. "But that's not why I'm here. The two of you have been chosen."

"Chosen?" Gaara asked with a raised, nonexistent, eyebrow. "Chosen for what?"

"For a quest." Kami said with another sigh. "We have chosen six champions, all with different abilities, two from each world. You are to go find your four teammates. I will contact you when you've found them." she said and was about to disappear when Naruto called out to her.

"Woah, woah, woah! Wait a minute, lady! How the he... How are we supposed to find these people? Especially if they're from different worlds then us?"

"I will transport you to one of the worlds. After you've found the first two, I will transport you to the other world and once you've found the last two, I will tell you what your quest is. Good luck." Kami said and faded away together with Naruto and Gaara.

--LINE--

So, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Please tell me.


	2. Finding the first two and a demon fight!

I forgot something! Naruto also has the Jashin necklace. You know, the circle with the triangle in it. That's just what I wanted to tell you. Enjoy!

--LINE--

"Where the fuck are we?!" Naruto shouted with a vein pumping viciously on his forehead. They were in a desert, not a living soul as far as the eye could see and they had been wandering around for about three hours. "It's fucking hot and I'm dressed in black!"

"So am I, but you don't hear me complaining." Gaara said calmly.

"Of course not! This is paradise for you! I'd rather be sitting in a bar somewhere, drinking my ass off right now!"

"There's nothing we can do about it." Gaara said as he continued walking. "We accepted this mission."

"We never accepted it! We were taken against our will! The only thing that's stopping me from just sitting down right here, not moving an inch, is the fact that Jashin-sama wants me to do it! But we were never fucking asked if we wanted to accept the mission or not!"

"Just shut up! Your complaining doesn't really make this trip any easier."

"Do we even know who we're supposed to fucking find?"

"Didn't you listen to Kami?! She said that we should go north and find the village there. In it, our new allies will be located."

"I knew you would listen, so I didn't bother." Naruto said making Gaara growl. Suddenly, Naruto looked up at the sky. "Time to pray."

"Oh, come on!"

--LINE--

After walking through the desert for eight more grueling hours, Naruto and Gaara found themselves in a rundown old village. The buildings looked like they'd seen a lot better days and the village didn't even have a bar.

"You gotta be kidding me..." Naruto said as he looked around.

"Yes, I am actually." came Kami's voice from behind them. Gaara and Naruto slowly turned around to see Kami smiling cheerfully at them. "Congratulations. You two passed the test."

"The... test...?" Gaara asked slowly getting a nod from the goddess.

"Yes. This was a test devised by us, the gods, to see if you two had what it takes to complete this quest. You didn't turn back and you didn't give up. That's good. And Jashin told me to tell you that he's very pleased with you, Naruto. He's glad that you can feel his little signals, even with the pain of thousands of grains of sand striking your body."

That was all Naruto needed to hear as he grinned.

"So, will you send us where we really need to go?" Gaara asked with a sigh, getting a nod from Kami.

"Yes. You will be sent to a city called Los Angeles. There you will find two vampire fighters with souls named Spike and Angel. I think you might like Spike, Naruto." she said making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"Oh really? Why?"

"Because he looks an awful lot like your old sensei, Hidan."

"I like him already."

"Well, I've been holding you up for too long." Kami said and closed her eyes. "Time to go."

And with that, they were encased in light.

--LINE--

"Where are we?" Naruto asked as they stood in the middle of L.A on a rainy night.

"We're in Los Angeles. Angel, Spike and two others, one of which is an ancient demon called Illyria, are going to go against a pack of demons sent here by the Senior Partners, who are the subordinates of the foe you are going to face. You must help them. I will take you there." Kami said and enveloped them in light again.

--LINE--

"Me...? I kinda wanna slay the dragon. Let's go to work." Angel said with a smile and charged the demons with Spike, Gunn and Illyria following.

Suddenly, a light appeared between the heroes and the demons. Once it faded, there stood Naruto and Gaara who first looked at Angel and friends before turning to the demons.

"It's been a while since I fought a demon." Naruto said with a grin of anticipation on his face making Gaara sigh.

"Only you can be happy about a fight like this." Gaara said and removed his gourd while Naruto took out his scythe. "This rain is not good for my sand. I'll have to use the threads..."

"Who are you?" Angel asked while a demon who looked just like a humans view of the devil, obviously the leader, wielding a huge, spiked mace, nodded. (He looks like Diablo from Diablo II.)

"**Yeah! Who are you to dare interfere with the Senior Partners?!"**

Naruto looked at him.

"Devil boy over there is mine."

Gaara looked at Angel from the corner of his eyes.

"We're here to help you."

"Oh, Jashin-sama." Naruto said, holding the pendant around his neck with his left hand while holding the scythe loosely in his right hand. "These sacrifices, this demon blood will be spilled in your name! Please accept these sacrifices, Jashin-sama!"

"Are you done?" Gaara asked as he removed his shirt to reveal a body that was severely patched up and four masks on his back.

"Yes, I am." Naruto said with a grin as his body suddenly turned black and got a skeleton pattern on it. "For Jashin-sama!" he shouted and charged at the demons.

The stitching on Gaara's arms suddenly loosened and the arms separated from his body, only hanging on by black, slimy threads.

Naruto stabbed his scythe into Devil boy's shoulder, causing the demon to roar out in pain before grabbing Naruto and tossing him away, straight at another demon who got his head lopped off by a swing of Naruto's scythe.

"Well, they seem to be our allies." Angel said as spiked threads came out of every crack in Gaara's skin and impaled every demon in range. "Let's help them!" he said and charged at the closest demon.

"Gaara!" Naruto shouted as he lopped off yet another head. "I need a hand with the fucking dragon up there!"

Gaara sighed as yet another demon was impaled and sent his hand away to grab Naruto's own outstretched one. He started swinging Naruto around like a lasso before tossing the blond straight at the huge dragon circling the sky.

"Time to die!" Naruto shouted as he slid the scythe across the dragon's neck when he flew past before landing on its back where he proceeded to hack away at its spine, causing it too to roar out in pain while Naruto just laughed.

Gaara just sighed as the dragon hit the ground with a huge crash.

Naruto landed on the ground in front of Devil boy again.

"I'm surprised you haven't bled to death yet." Naruto said as he grinned at the demon.

"**Don't underestimate me, human!"** Devil boy roared and tried to crush Naruto with his mace, though Naruto just jumped away.

"I'll get back to you, DB(Short for Devil boy)!" Naruto shouted and rushed into the horde of demons again where he proceeded to hack away at the ones who hadn't been sliced to pieces by Angel and Gunn, crushed by Illyria, impaled by Gaara or beaten to death by Spike who, strangely enough, seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself.

'Just like Hidan-sensei.' Naruto thought with a smile as he jumped away and landed a long distance away from the fighting group and licked all the blood off his scythe.

"It's time to sacrifice." he said as the mark of Jashin appeared on the ground below him. "Lady, gentlemen and demon! May I have your attention please?" he shouted, surprisingly stopping the fighting.

Naruto smirked and detached a one foot long section from the bottom of the scythe that he strapped to his back again. Pumping some chakra into the section, a one foot long spike shot out of it while Naruto grinned.

"Every single one of you that I've cut here today have been chosen!" Naruto shouted as he raised the spike. "You have all been chosen to become sacrifices to the great blood god, Jashin-sama! Have a not so happy death!" he shouted and stabbed the spike into his heart, making Spike's, Angel's, Illyria's and Gunn's eyes widen while the raging demons stopped in their tracks and Gaara smirked.

"What's he doing?!" Gunn shouted while Naruto still had that grin on his face as all the demons fell down, clutching at their chests.

Naruto started snickering. Soon it turned into a full blown maniacal laugh.

"You want more?!" he shouted with a crazed grin on his face and pulled out the spike before ramming it into his heart again. "It feels good, doesn't it?!"

"What is he?" Illyria asked with narrowed eyes. "I sense something in the two of you."

Gaara just smirked as his threads receded and his arms reattached themselves.

"Shukaku says that you're not as powerful as you used to be, Illyria." he said as he walked over to the laughing Naruto making Illyria's eyes widen.

"Shukaku..." she murmured as she, Angel, Spike and Gunn followed Gaara.

"It's over now, Naruto." Gaara said as he reached Naruto. "You can pull the spike out now."

Naruto looked over at Gaara with a grin.

"You're no fun." he said as he pulled out the spike, pulled it into the section of the scythe and attached it to the weapon again. "I'd forgotten how fun it was to fight demons. I guess I lost myself in all this excitement."

"Just what are you?" Angel asked making Naruto grin.

"I am the last follower of the great blood god Jashin-sama. I'm Naruto and this is Gaara. We were sent here by the gods to find you and Spike. You are Angel, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

Angel was about to ask more questions when Illyria interrupted him.

"You're the container of Lord Kyuubi, aren't you?"

"That's right." Naruto said with a nod. "Kyuubi says that he remembers you, but he doesn't remember you being this weak. In the old days, you would've been easily able to destroy these guys."

"That is a long story that I do not wish to tell." Illyria said.

"**Y-You bastards..."** came the voice of DB. Naruto looked over to him casually.

"Oh? You didn't die? You're persistent, aren't you?"

"**D-Don't..."** DB said as he shakily got up. **"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!!"** he roared as he shot what looked like a ray of red electricity directly at Naruto, impacting and slamming the Jashinist against a wall, a gaping hole in his stomach.

DB glared at Naruto who slowly got up.

"**I AM DERDEROS, GENERAL OF THE ARMIES OF THE SECOND PLANE! I CANNOT AND WILL NOT DIE!!"**

"Holy shit..." Gaara said calmly. "He got up after two stabs to the heart."

"Persistent little fuck." Naruto said as he walked over to Gaara and took out his scythe again and took a stance. "Let me deal with this." he said and started chanting. "Jashin-sama, the god of blood. Lend me your aid so that I can destroy this enemy in one swing. Let his blood flow on the streets. Let him know that Jashin-sama is the strongest. Lend me your power."

Naruto closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them to reveal a pair of eyes that were covered in a layer of blood. He raised his scythe while Derderos held out his hand, a red ball starting to form in it.

"_BLOOD CUTTER!!"_ Naruto shouted in an echoing tone of voice and made a diagonal slash with his scythe, sending a huge, blood red wave of energy at Derderos while the now football sized ball shot out of Derderos's hand.

"**DEVIL'S HAND!!"**

The two attacks collided, though something happened that Derderos wasn't expecting. The Blood Cutter sliced through his Devil's Hand and approached him at an extremely high speed while the two halves of the Devil's Hand shot into the walls on the sides, completely decimating the buildings.

The Blood Cutter slashed diagonally through Derderos and continued through eighteen more houses behind him before finally disappearing.

"**I... I lost...?"** Derderos asked as his right arm separated from his shoulder. **"How could I lose...? I failed you... my lord... Shal-"**

Derderos couldn't continue as the upper part of his body slid off and hit the ground with a thud.

"Wow..." Gaara said as he looked at Naruto. "He was actually tough."

"_I know."_ Naruto said as the blood disappeared from his eyes. "I can't believe I actually had to enter my possessed state. That blast would've killed even me." he said and looked down at his stomach. "Do you see now why I never wear a shirt?"

"Yeah. We would've lost a fortune on it if you were to buy a new shirt every time we'd been through a fight."

"All you care about is money, isn't it?"

"Pretty much." Gaara said with a nod.

They were about to be bombarded with questions when a Kami suddenly appeared in front of everyone.

"Good job, guys. I was watching the fight."

"You were watching the fight, yet you didn't help us?" Gaara asked and Kami shook her head.

"I cannot kill on this plane." she said as she looked over to the demons. "Nobody living on a higher plane is allowed to kill in the lower planes, but the demons don't care about that. The only thing I can do is to transport you and give you hints. Now, I see you've found Spike and Angel. Let me explain to them what their task his."

Kami waved her hand and all their wounds suddenly healed.

"Now, let's get explaining!" Kami exclaimed with a grin.

--LINE--

And I'm done. I'm sorry it's so short. The next chapter will be longer. I have a request. I need you people to give some ideas to who the other two will be. I have thought out the antagonist and four protagonists, but I can't think of the last two protagonists. No DBZ though. Absolutely no DBZ.

Give me suggestions!

R&R!!


	3. Seireitei, getting drunk and singing

Well, I have decided what the next crossover is. It's... Bleach!

This chapter has a more in depth explanation on Naruto's and Gaara's past and on theor quest and enemy.

--LINE--

"So... You want us to go to another dimension, pick up two other champions and then fight whatever guy we are to fight?" Angel asked getting a nod from Kami.

"Yes. And in return, you get to become human again." she said making Spike's and Angel's eyes widen.

"I'll do it." Spike said quickly getting a nod from Angel.

"Me too."

"Now, before I send you on your way, is there anyone you would like to see and say goodbye to?" Kami asked making Naruto's eyes widen.

"Hey! You never asked us that!"

Kami turned to Naruto, still smiling.

"But you don't have anyone you want to say goodbye to."

"Oh, yeah... Right..." Naruto said with a nod.

Kami turned to Spike and Angel again.

"So?"

"Buffy." Spike and Angel said in unison before glaring at each other.

"Buffy?" Naruto and Gaara asked in unison while Kami put a hand to her chin.

"Buffy, huh? I can do that. You have one day. Then I'll take you to find the other two at 9 am tomorrow." she said and snapped her fingers, encasing the four and herself in light before disappearing, leaving a confused Gunn and Illyria.

--LINE--

The four appeared in what looked to be a mansion on top of a mountain, judging by the view.

"Someone has gotten past my barrier!" came a shout from somewhere in the mansion.

"Willow?" Angel asked as they heard footsteps approaching.

Willow, Buffy, Faith, Giles, Andrew, Xander and all the slayers came into the dining room where Angel, Spike, Naruto and Gaara were located.

"Angel?" Buffy asked with wide eyes.

"Spike?!" Andrew asked making said vampire groan.

"Oh, no..."

"Holy shit." Naruto said, staring at all the girls with wide eyes. "I could definitely see myself living in here."

"Do you have any idea how much electricity this mansion needs to run?" Gaara asked, glaring at his companion. "It would ruin us."

"Stop thinking about money all the time!"

"I'll keep thinking about money as long as you keep thinking about your precious Jashin!"

"Don't you dare use Jashin-sama's name in such a disrespectful tone again!"

"Why?! You gonna do something about it?!"

"As a matter of fact, I will!"

"Guys!" Angel shouted, shutting the two up. "We should explain things to them." he said, gesturing for the speechless slayers.

"I like the redhead." Naruto said, glancing at Willow.

Spike leaned in.

"That's Willow. She's a lesbian." he whispered making Naruto's eyes widen. Thoughts started filling his head. Erotic thoughts. Erotic thoughts of huge lesbian orgies taking place in the mansion he was in.

While Naruto was in his own little world, a perverted grin slowly made its way onto his face as he closed his eyes in delight, giggling perversley.

Spike was about to say something when Gaara put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't. He's in his own little world right now. If you disturb him, he will most likely lop off your head for it."

"I have a feeling I have a lot to learn about you guys."

"Now, now, don't be shy, Willow-chan. Teach them how to do it." Naruto said dreamily making everyone stare at him wide eyed.

"M-Me?" Willow asked with a twitch in her eye.

"Sorry, love." Spike said with a wave. "I might have told him about you being a lesbian."

"At least he's quiet." Gaara said with a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, Naruto's eyes shot open and he began to leave the room.

"Hey, where are you going?!" Buffy shouted making Naruto look at her.

"I'm gonna go pray, and then I'm gonna puke blood. What's it to ya?"

"Nobody's leaving this room until someone tells me how you four got past Willow's barrier and what you're doing here." Buffy said making Gaara, Spike and Angel sigh while Naruto shrugged.

"Oh well, I'll just pray in here then." he said before taking out his spike, getting on his knees and ramming the spike into his heart, shocking the occupants of the room, except for Spike, Angel and Gaara.

"What's he doing?!" Buffy shouted while Gaara, Spike and Angel calmly walked towards them.

"He's praying to his god." Gaara said. "Don't disturb him or he'll kill you."

"Now, for an explanation." Angel said and took a deep breath before retelling everything Kami had told him.

--LINE--

"Okay..." Buffy said with a nod after a long, tiring explanation. "So you're on a mission from god, or Kami, and you're going to find two more people and fight some super boss guy who you don't even know who he is?"

"That's right." Angel said with a nod.

"And you have one day to say goodbye to your friends before you have to go to another dimension?"

"Correct."

Buffy turned to Gaara.

"And what are you exactly?"

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask that as well." Spike said and looked towards the kneeling Naruto who still had the spike in his chest and looked to be... sleeping? "No mere human can do that, or all the other things you did when we fought those demons."

"In our original world, we use an energy called chakra. With it, we can do a lot of things you'd think was abnormal. Though you're right. We're not completely human." Gaara said as he took a deep breath, getting ready to explain. "Naruto and I are sacrifices."

"Sacrifices?" Giles asked getting a nod from Gaara.

"Yes. When Naruto was born, an ancient demon fox with nine tails attacked his village."

"Nine tailed fox..." Giles said with a hand on his chin. "Are you talking about the Kyuubi no Youko?"

"Indeed." Gaara said with a nod. "I see you've heard of him."

"Who or what is this Kyuubi?" Buffy asked as Giles got into lecture mode.

"The Kyuubi no Youko is an ancient demon, just like Gaara here said. In the demon plane, there were nine demons who were the strongest. They all had huge animal forms and had tails to signify their ranks and power. The one tail was the weakest while the nine tails was the strongest. The Kyuubi was an incredibly strong demon who was said to be able to destroy an entire mountain or cause a tsunami with just a swipe of one tail."

"Woah..."

"Exactly." Gaara said with a nod. "The leader of Naruto's village, the Hokage, found that it was impossible to kill the fox and did the next best thing. He sealed it inside a newborn boy, Naruto." he said making everyone's eyes widen. "The Hokage wanted everyone to see Naruto as the hero who kept the fox at bay. But the villagers, overcome by hatred towards the fox, did the exact opposite. They saw Naruto as the demon itself and took every chance they got to beat him, spit on him, shun him, overcharge him in the stores and everything."

"Is that why he is the way he is?" Spike asked and gestured for the spike.

"No." Gaara said with a small chuckle. "No, he got that from his sensei. When Naruto was seven, two missing ninjas from two completely different villages, found him and took him in. Later, they traveled to my village and found me."

"And your story is...?"

"My story? My story is only slightly different from Naruto's. When I was still in my mother's stomach, my father, the leader of my village, the Kazekage, sealed the Ichibi no Shukaku, the one tailed raccoon, inside me, hoping to turn me into a weapon. The process killed my mother. The seal they used was a so called berserker seal, a seal used to drive the demon insane. The Shukaku kept screaming at me, telling me to kill and kill and kill. I couldn't sleep. Every time I fell asleep, the demon would come into my mind, taking it over and eat away at my soul."

"So, were you also beaten?" Willow asked and Gaara shook his head.

"No. people just avoided me. They feared me. Though some tried to beat me, the Shukaku gave me an automatic defense. He gave me the ability to control sand. Every time something was about three feet away from me, the sand in my gourd would come out and block it." Gaara said and chuckled. "Talk about being weak minded. I was just on the verge of insanity when Naruto, Hidan-senpai and Kakuzu-sensei found me."

"Why would you be weak minded?" Buffy asked, thinking that he actually was strong to have lasted so long.

"Well, Naruto was actually abused, not just avoided like I was. He didn't have a defense like I had, yet he stayed sane. The only thing that changed him was that he actually began to like the beatings. He liked the pain. That's why Hidan-senpai took him as an apprentice. Jashin is the blood god. He enjoys blood, death and war, anything that involves pain. The Jashinists were all masochists. In return for their devotion, they were awarded with immortality. Using said immortality, they would go through a ritual, steal at least one small drop of the victim's blood, step into the ritual circle and use themselves as a medium, becoming a living voodoo doll so that Jashin could feel the pain of the Jashinist and the victim."

"I've heard about Jashinists." Giles said, holding his chin in thought. "But they were thought to be extinct."

"They weren't. Hidan-senpai was the only one left, until Naruto came along. Kakuzu-sensei was the one who trained me. He was several hundred years old. He had developed a technique where he replaced every single piece of tissue inside his body with thick, vein like threads." Gaara said and held up his arm to reveal several stitchings on it before taking off his tank top to reveal the four masks on his back. "He would also steal the hearts of his victims and add them to his own body, allowing him to live longer."

"So... Those masks..." Willow started, getting a nod from Gaara.

"These masks are all hearts that I have taken from my enemies. You people may think that we are evil demons or something, but you've never been to our world. Our world is a world filled with ninjas, assassins, tools of war. We live to kill. Naruto and I have been through three wars. The first one was when we were ten, though we got our first kills when we were eight. The second was when we were fifteen and we had just been let go from the third war when Kami came and picked us up. I don't know if you've heard of it, but in our world, we have a saying. 'If you wanna destroy a monster, become a bigger monster.' Our world seem to have followed that saying closely, becoming more and more violent. I believe that our world will destroy itself soon enough."

The others just sat there, speechless. What had these guys gone through.

Suddenly, Naruto stretched and pulled the spike out of his chest.

"Ah! That was a nice nap. What did I miss?"

"I just told these guys our life stories."

"Cool. Now, does any of you have any fucking alcohol?" Naruto asked, looking around. "I have just fought a pack of demons and I want something to drink."

"You know, you could ask nicely." Buffy said making Naruto stare at her.

"Nicely? I'm not familiar with that word."

"Are you... Are you serious?"

"No, I'm not. I just said that to tell you that I don't give a flying fuck about what you think. Now do you have any booze or what?"

"We don't drink."

"You don't... drink?" Naruto asked with wide eyes. "Not even a single drop of alcohol?!"

"Nope." Buffy said with a smile making Naruto growl.

"Then how come I can smell whiskey on Glasses over there?!" Naruto asked, pointing at Giles who huffed at the nickname.

"That whiskey is not for you." he said making Naruto grin.

"Oh, come on. Help me out here. I'm about to embark on a mission to kill some kind of ultimate bad guy. I need something to start me up."

"No."

"I'll fucking stab you if you don't give it to me."

"Wait here." Giles said and left the room.

"How come you always have to threaten everyone we meet at least once?" Gaara asked making Naruto grin again.

"I don't like to say that I threatened him. I'd like to say that I convinced him using a sharp object as aid."

"You're a nutjob."

"Well, you're a greedy little fuckbag."

"I swear to every single god out there. I am going to kill you soon!"

"You can't kill me, asshole." Naruto said with a glare before sighing. "So, I guess we're staying here for tonight." he said as Giles came back with his twelve year old whiskey.

"Booze!" Naruto shouted and got up, snatching the bottle from the ex-watcher's hands. He uncorked it and started chugging it down.

"Save some for me please." Faith said and snatched the bottle from Naruto's hand before turning to Giles. "I knew you had booze around."

"You seem like the rebel of the group." Naruto said with a grin and turned to Buffy who glared at Faith. "Then you're the uptight rule freak." he stated with a nod before turning to Faith again, ignoring the death glare Buffy sent him. "I think I'll enjoy your company better."

"Really?" Faith asked with a raised eyebrow as she handed the bottle back to Naruto who grinned viciously.

"Definitely."

--LINE--

The next morning, Gaara, Angel, Spike and Buffy stood at the front door of what Naruto had come to call 'the slayer mansion.'

Naruto was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is that masochistic freak?" Spike asked as he looked around. "That goddess woman is gonna be here any second now."

Kami, as if she heard what Spike said, which she probably did, suddenly appeared at the door with a smile on her face.

"Ready to go?"

"We're ready, but not Naruto." Gaara said as he looked around, trying to spot a blond set of spikes. "He seems to be busy with something."

"Oh, he's busy alright." Kami said with a grin making the slayer, the shinobi and the two vampires look at her in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Angel asked.

"Call for him." was all Kami said.

"Hey, Naruto!" Spike shouted as he looked around. "It's time to go, mate!"

Some noises were heard from upstairs, some voices, something crashing and a door opening followed by some footsteps.

"I'm coming!" Naruto said as he came rushing down the stairs, busy putting on his pants with his scythe and strap in hand. "I'm done." he said as he came up to see the wide eyed expressions of everyone except for Kami.

"Did you have fun, Naruto?" she asked with a blush, getting a glare from Naruto.

"Were you watching?"

"..."

Kami's silence said it all.

"Can we go now?" Spike asked with a sigh.

"Yeah. Let's go." Gaara said getting a nod from Angel.

"Well," Angel said and turned to Buffy as Faith came limping down the stairs. "goodbye."

"See ya." Spike said with a wave as the four walked over to Kami.

"Hopefully, I'll see you later, hotness." Naruto said and winked at Faith as they were encased in light.

Buffy turned to Faith who had a lazy, perverted grin on her face.

"What did you do last night?" she asked as Faith turned to look at her.

"Did you know that that man has the stamina of a god?" she asked, not even having heard Buffy's question.

--LINE--

"Where are we?" Spike asked as they ended up in a clearing in a forest, in the middle of the day. He and Angel looked up.

"The sun!" they shouted in unison and ducked for cover, only to find that they didn't catch on fire.

"Oh, yeah..." Angel said as he got up. "We're in a different dimension..."

"The sunlight won't burn us." Spike said with a smile as he basked in the sunlight.

"So..." Naruto said, turning to Kami. "Where are we, who are we supposed to find and where do we find them?"

"We are currently in a place called Soul Society." Kami said and gestured for the city that could be seen through the forest. "This is Shinigami's dimension. This is where dead souls go. There are people here who guide the dead souls here. They are called shinigami's as well and call Shinigami the Shinigami King." she said making Naruto raise an eyebrow.

"So, I can meet those that are dead here?"

"It's possible." Kami said with a nod. "But only if the ones you want to meet was taken by Shinigami."

"That's cool." Naruto said with a grin. "The guy I'm looking for died from the Shiki Fuujin." he said making Gaara look at him.

"You mean...?"

"Yep." Naruto said with a nod. "I have a few choice words to say to him."

"Well, the people you're looking for are two shinigamis. One of them, you can't miss. He's tall, has spiky, orange hair and wears a black kimono, a yukata over it and wield a big, black sword. His name is Kurosaki Ichigo. The other person you want to fin is a woman with dark skin, purple hair and she acts a lot like a cat. She wears the same clothes as Ichigo, but she usually never wears the yukata. Her name is Shihouin Yoruichi. Make sure you are not seen when you enter, otherwise you'll have to go through the entire shinigami force to get to them. They are all inside Seireitei, the lot of white buildings in the middle. Good luck."

"Well, this sounds like it's gonna be fun." Naruto said with a grin as Kami disappeared.

"Fun?" Angel asked with wide eyes as they stared at the white, much more sophisticated buildings in the middle of the run down city.

"More like bloody suicide." Spike stated making Naruto grin.

"But the two of you are already dead, aren't you? And I doubt they'd ever think that vampires are real."

"He's got a point." Gaara said as they began walking towards the city.

"By the way, guys. Where did you get those weapons?" Naruto asked casually. Angel and Spike suddenly noticed the weapons that had manifested themselves to them.

Spike had a black, elven short sword strapped to his waist inside his coat while Angel had a big claymore strapped to his back.

"What the...?" Angel asked as he took the claymore off his back, only to noticed that it weighed practically nothing. "Do you think she gave them to us?" he asked, getting a shrug from Spike as he examined his own sword.

"She must've. I mean, we didn't have them when we left."

"Great!" Naruto exclaimed with a grin.

--LINE--

"Just a couple of more steps..." Naruto said tiredly as they approached the white buildings. "Who knew that it would be such a long walk...?"

Suddenly, a huge wall came falling from the sky and landed in front of them with a crash, surrounding Seireitei. A guy wearing a fez came shortly after. He was HUGE! Naruto was up to his ankle at most!

"Halt! I am Jidanbou, guardian of the west gate! If you want to enter Seireitei, you must pass through m-" the giant started shouting, but was cut off by a huge block of sand slamming into the side of his head, slamming him down into the ground, effectively knocking him out. Gaara sighed.

"So much for sneaking in..." he said as he maneuvered his sand to get under the gate and push it up. "Let's go inside."

"Shit. I wanted to fight that guy..." Naruto said with a grumble as he followed Gaara.

"These guys are bloody crazy." Spike told Angel who nodded.

'I'm not doing such a good job guarding the gate, am I?' the barely conscious Jidanbou thought as he saw the four walk past him before he entered the land of dreams.

--LINE--

"Alright. We'll split up." Gaara said when they passed the gate. "Angel, you and I go south. Spike, you're with Naruto, go north. We circle the area and move in a spiral. It's the easiest way to find them."

"No. The easiest way to find them would be to call them out, but we can't do that, so your option is the second best." Naruto said, getting a glare from Gaara.

"Fine... It's the second easiest way to find them. And no killing." he said, glaring at Naruto as he did. Naruto groaned.

"Fine..."

"Good. Now let's go."

Angel and Gaara ran off while Naruto turned to Spike.

"You got enough stamina to run for a while, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Do you have enough to keep up?" Spike asked with a grin that Naruto mimicked.

"Definitely."

And with that, they ran off.

--LINE--

"That can't be good." Angel said as they heard some kind of bell ringing, clearly some kind of alarm.

"I'm pretty sure they know we're here..." Gaara said with a sigh as three men in black kimonos, wielding katanas, emerged from a corner, right in front of them. "Shit..."

"There are the Ryoka! Get them!" one of the shinigamis, one with scars covering his face, shouted and charged head first, swinging his sword like a maniac. He was surprised to see that a wall of sand suddenly appeared in front of Gaara, blocking the incoming sword swing while Angel took the claymore off his back and blocked two incoming swings from the other two shinigamis.

"Can't we talk about this?" he asked as he pushed the two away while Gaara knocked his opponent out with a ball of sand. The two shinigamis charged again making Angel sigh. "I guess not..."

--LINE--

"Ha! You want more?!" Naruto shouted as he slammed his fist into the jaw of an eleventh division shinigami, standing on a pile of unconscious shinigamis while Spike was doing the same.

"Yeah! You don't wanna mess with the blonds!" Spike exclaimed as he rammed his knee into the gut of the last shinigami, a purple haired, dark skinned shinigami.

"Hey! What are you doing?! Isn't that the one we came to find?!" Naruto shouted, anger apparent in his face. Spike crouched down and held up the unconscious shinigami's head, examining it.

"No. This is just a guy. The one we're looking for is a girl, right?"

"Yeah." Naruto said as he jumped off the pile of people. "So, shall we continue?"

"Let's." Spike said with a grin as they started running again.

Suddenly, Naruto tripped over a small, purple haired shinigami who seemed to have been crawling out of a hideout.

"Hey!" he shouted as he grabbed the shinigami by his collar and held him up. "You want me to fall and break something, you little shit?!"

The shinigami was waving his hands in front of his face, panicking.

"Ah, ah, ah! S-Sorry! I-I-I didn't know! I thought you had already gone! I'm so terribly sorry! D-Don't kill MEEE!"

Naruto and Spike stared at each other while the shinigami kept flailing his arms around.

"Is this guy for real?" Spike asked getting a shrug from Naruto.

Naruto turned to the shinigami.

"Hey! Shut up!"

"Okay." the shinigami said, eager to please the man who could kill him in fifteen possible ways before he could even blink.

"Now, who are you?"

"I-I am Yamada Hanatarou. P-Pleased to meet you."

"Hanatarou?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow before turning to Spike. "Doesn't that sound like a girl's name?"

"Yeah, it does actually." Spike said with a nod.

"I-It's not a girl's name! I am a hundred percent man!" Hanatarou shouted with an embarrassed blush.

"And yet you were covering in a corner when the fight was going down."

"I'm a healer, not a fighter!"

Spike and Naruto looked at each other before nodding and turning back to Hanatarou, speaking in unison.

"You're a girl."

"I'M NOT A GIRL!" Hanatarou shouted, earning him a smack on the head from Naruto.

"Hey, shut up! If I say you're a girl, you're a girl! Now, I wanna asked you two questions. Where is a tall shinigami with spiky, orange hair, wearing a white yukata and where is a shinigami with purple hair and dark skin, wearing a white yukata?"

"Y-You want to find Kurosaki-Taicho and Shihouin-Taicho?" Hanatarou asked with wide eyes.

"If they fit the description, yes." Spike said, getting a nod from Naruto.

"And since you know their names, you obviously know where to find them."

"W-Well, they're in the middle of Seireitei, in the captain's buildings. Kurosaki-Taicho is in the third squad and Yoruichi-Taicho is in the second squad."

"Thank you." Naruto said and put Hanatarou down a took a deep breath before putting his hands around his mouth like a megaphone.

--LINE--

Gaara and Angel had just knocked down five more eleventh squad shinigamis when Naruto's voice was heard throughout Seireitei.

"GAARA!! THEY'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SEIREITEI!! IN THE SECOND AND THIRD SQUAD BUILDINGS!! SPIKE AND I ARE HEADING THERE NOW!!"

"Idiot!" Gaara growled as he tried to bury his face in his hand. "Now they know where we're going..."

"He's not very smart, is he?" Angel asked as he leaned against his claymore.

"No. I'm the smart, calculating type. He's the dumb, homicidal type with an obsession for ramen and booze." Gaara said as he turned to Angel. "Well, now we know where they are. We have no choice but to go there, do we?"

"We could just stay back and watch Spike and Naruto make asses out of themselves."

"You know, I like you more and more." Gaara said with a smirk as they started heading for the middle of Seireitei.

--LINE--

Naruto and Spike were running towards the middle of Seieritei, knocking down anyone in their way. Suddenly, Naruto stopped and looked inside a building.

"Hey, Spike! Come here. Look!" he said and pointed inside the window. Spike looked inside and saw-

"Food!" Naruto exclaimed with a grin as Spike kept looking around and spotted something else.

"And booze! Lots and lots of booze!"

--LINE--

A few shinigamis had made food, bought booze of all kinds and fixed up one of the storage buildings in order to prepare for a surprise party for Kyouraku-Taicho. Now all they needed was for someone to go and get him. A knock was heard on the door.

Suddenly, just as a shinigami opened to door, Naruto and Spike burst through it, crazed looks on their faces.

The shinigamis were too surprised to react as the two ryoka proceeded to beat the crap out of everyone there.

"Dango!" Naruto shouted before spotting thirty five steaming bowls of ramen on the table. "And dango!"

"Whiskey!" Spike shouted as he rummaged through the liquor boxes. "Sake, brandy! All you could ever hope for! We hit the jackpot!"

--LINE--

An hour later, Angel and Gaara were waiting inside a building, spying on the third squad building, just waiting for Naruto and Spike to show up.

"What's taking them so long?" Angel asked getting a shrug from Gaara.

"Maybe they fell and can't get up?"

"Let's go out and do what we came here to do." Angel said with a sigh as they left the building, only to end up in front of thirteen people in black kimonos, all wearing white yukatas. The one in the front was an old, bald man with a cane in hand. Gaara could tell just by looking at them that the shinigamis they met before were mere flies compared to these guys.

"Oh, shit..."

"We could really use Spike's and Naruto's help right now, couldn't we?" Angel asked, leaning in.

"Definitely."

"Ryoka. You have trespassed on shinigami property. The penalty for that is death." the old man said as the thirteen unsheathed their katanas.

"Oh, fuckbubbles..." Gaara said with a sigh.

_**...bubbles...**_

"What the...?" Angel asked as they heard some kind of singing.

"What the hell is that singing?" one of the captains, one with spiky, orange hair, asked as he looked around.

Looking to the north, Naruto and Spike could be seen wobbling towards them, arms slung around each other's shoulders, a bottle of scotch in Spike's hand and a bottle of sake in Naruto's hand, singing merrily.

_**I'm forever blowing bubbles,**_

_**Pretty bubbles in the air!**_

_**They fly so high,**_

_**They reach the sky,**_

_**And like my dreams**_

_**They fade and die!**_

_**Fortune's always hiding!**_

_**I've looked everywhere!**_

_**I'm forever blowing bubbles,**_

_**Pretty bubbles in the air!**_

Here they threw away the bottles and clapped their hands three times after each shout.

_**UNITED!**_

Clap, clap clap.

_**UNITED!**_

Clap, clap, clap.

_**UNITED!**_

Clap, clap, clap.

Now they started jumping around crazily.

_**Let's go fucking mental!**_

_**Let's go fucking mental!**_

_**Na na na na**_

_**Na na na na**_

_**Let's go fucking mental!**_

_**Let's go fucking mental!**_

_**Na na na na**_

_**Na na na na**_

Gaara buried his face in his hands while Angel sighed.

"Idiots..." they muttered in unison.

"I hope we don't have to pay for the damages they may have caused..." Gaara said making Angel sweatdrop.

"You know what, Spike?" Naruto asked as he slammed his scythe into the ground and leaned against it for support. "I like you more and more for every passing minute."

"Back off, fag."

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that, you fucking Blondie!" Naruto shouted as he glared at the wobbly legged vampire making Spike guffaw.

"You're a Blondie too, Blondie!"

"Oh... Right..."

"What's going on here?!" the old man shouted, giving off an aura of authority, making Naruto and Spike look at him, baffled that he disturbed their conversation.

"Don't ask us, old man. Ask Count de Money (I got that from Mel Brooks) and Mr Stick-up-his-ass over there. We're just the dumb, drunk muscle." Naruto said and pointed at Gaara and Angel, who both huffed at their nicknames.

"Hey, we're not that drunk." Spike said and pulled up his left leg, trying to balance on his right, only to fail miserably and fall flat on his face. "Yes. Yes, we are."

The thirteen captains did nothing but stare at the scene. These guys managed to break into Seireitei?

"I wrote a poem about a situation like this once." Spike said getting a raised eyebrow from Naruto.

"Really? How'd it go?"

Spike stared.

"I don't remember. That's why I wrote it down."

The orange haired man turned to the old man.

"Do you mind telling me how two drunks managed to infiltrate Seireitei and beat down half of our shinigami force?"

Naruto and Spike glared at the orange haired guy for calling them drunks.

"Cheeky fucker." Naruto said.

Gaara sighed again.

"We're here to find two people. Kami sent us. The Shinigami, or to you, Shinigami King, Kami and the rest of the gods has chosen me, Angel here, Spike and Naruto over there and two people from here to bla bla bla something, something."

"I guess we should explain this." Kami said, suddenly appearing in front of them with the Shinigami next to her, surprising everyone there. Accompanying the two was a man with long, platinum blond hair wearing a pitch black kimono.

"Shinigami-sama!" the old man exclaimed and bowed. "What are you doing here? And who are those two."

"I have come to help Kami explain. The blond over here" Shinigami said and placed a hand on the platinum blond's shoulder. "is Jashin, another god. He came to see Naruto."

"Yeah, so I'm just gonna go over there." Jashin said and started heading towards the two drunks when Shinigami grabbed his collar.

"No need. They will come over here. They need to hear this too." he said as Kami waved her hand, sobering the two up.

"Okay, who's the wise guy?!" Naruto shouted, looking around until he spotted Jashin and fell to his knees, bowing. "J-Jashin-sama?! What are you doing here?"

"I came to give you some pointers." Jashin said as he waved his hand, gesturing for the two blonds to come over. "But first, Kami and Shinigami needs to explain a few things.

Naruto and Spike walked over to listen to what the gods had to say. Everyone gave the gods their full attention.

"Okay." Kami said with a nod. "First things first. These guys are Naruto, Gaara, Angel and Spike. They, just like Ichigo and Yoruichi, have been chosen by us, the gods, to go on a quest to destroy the ultimate evil."

"The ultimate evil?" the old man asked with a raised eyebrow.

"So, are you gonna tell us who it is we're going to kill now?" Naruto asked in a bored tone of voice, scratching his chest.

"Yes. The one you need to destroy is a man named Shal Mak'ka. He's too strong for even us, the gods."

"Then how do you suppose we can kill him?"

"We have chosen you because when we created humans, we gave them limitless potential. A chosen few, the six of you and Shal Mak'ka, were given the potential to surpass even us. Though Shal didn't turn out to be what we hoped for. He created the demons, the hollows, everything that is evil in this world. Even if we were to team up, the gods cannot get to him."

"What do you mean?" Gaara asked with a raised eyebrow.

"There are all in all five planes of existence. The first is where the humans live and grow. The second is for the spirits and other deities, like this place. Since this dimension's plane is connected with the first, humans can live here and grow as well. The third is for angels and high demons, such as the bijuus. The fourth one is for the gods and the fifth one, the one Shal Mak'ka is in, is unaccessible to even the gods and as such, we cannot tell you what's on that plane. That's where you six come in. If Shal Mak'ka managed to get there, you can too. The six of you were chosen because you all have different abilities.

Gaara. you can use your sand to crush your opponents in battle and use your sewing skills for close quarter combat.

Naruto. (Naruto stopped scratching his ear and paid attention) you can use your immortality to get close to the enemy and take them out with your scythe, or take out a large amount of enemies at once with your Blood Link (I don't know what it's really called, so I'm going to call it that. It's the voodoo thing).

Angel. You have good swordsmanship, good tactical mind and great leadership abilities.

Spike. You are a great and loyal ally and a dangerous opponent. You have excellent skills with your fists and a short sword.

Ichigo. You are an excellent swordsman and with your Bankai, you become a speed demon.

And finally, Yoruichi. You are a master at hand-to-hand combat and stealth and your speed is only rivaled by Ichigo at Bankai. Your cat form is also great for gathering information."

"Shal Mak'ka has already dispatched his forces and they are moving in on the dimensions." Shinigami said as he looked at the six chosen champions. "You are the only ones who can stop him and you have limitless potential to grow. As such, during your travels, you will be trained by us. Jashin will train Naruto and Spike. Kami will train Angel and Gaara while I train Yoruichi and Ichigo. I cannot promise that you will come out of this alive and well, since we do not know exactly how much power Shal Mak'ka has. You will stay here for a week, training and getting acquainted. I hope you don't have any problems with that, Yamamoto-dono?" he asked, turning to the old man who shook his head.

"Of course not, Shinigami-sama."

"Good. Now, everyone get some rest. Tomorrow at 6 am, we'll meet the six of you here to start our training. Good night."

And with that, Shinigami and Kami disappeared while Jashin grinned at Naruto.

"Well, Naruto. It seems that we'll be training face to face, instead of just in your subconsciousness. Good lick. I have a feeling you're gonna need it." he said before disappearing in a pool of blood.

"Well then." Yamamoto said as he looked at the four ryoka. "I guess you're our guests of honor. Follow me and I'll show you where you can sleep."

"Good. I could use a fucking fuck of fucking shithole nap right now." Naruto said as he stretched making Gaara raise an eyebrow.

"Wasn't that a little too much?"

"Fuck no! Do you know how much concentration it takes for me not to fucking swear around Kami?! I'm starting to have shakes for fuck's sake..."

The captains dispersed as Yamamoto led the four champions through Seireitei.

Ichigo shook his head with a sigh as he walked next to his father, the new fifth squad's captain, and Urahara Kisuke, the new ninth squad captain.

"A strange bunch..." he murmured, getting a nod from the two.

--LINE--

I'm done. I think I might have to edit this chap. It feels like something's missing, but if that happens, I'll let you know. Review!

R&R mean Read & Review, I think... Doesn't it? Anyway, to me it means Read & Review so... REVIEW!!

In the next chapter, Naruto fights Kenpachi!!

R&R

R&R

R&R

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R&R


	4. Training, fighting and more drinking!

Hey, guys! I could really use two things right now. Reviews and Fanart!

I hope the fight is satisfying enough for ya!

--LINE--

"Alright, Naruto." Jashin said as he turned to Naruto after having ordered Spike to train his strength and speed by attaching weights to his arms, legs, upper body and his sword. "I'm going to teach you a style that I have invented and never shown anyone." he said and handed over an ebony box. Opening it up, Naruto saw five weapons. Two seemed to be something that you'd attach to your legs, long, black blades going up on either side of and behind the legs. Two were a pair of black metal gloves with spiked knuckles and four blades going down on each of his arms to his elbows. The fifth weapon a an ebony handle with two blades coming out of each end, curved backwards.

"These are the blades required for a mass killing style, the Rasenken (Spiral fist)." Jashin said and held up the curved blade. "This one goes in your mouth. I will have an armor given to you later. This style involves using agile moves in order to turn every part of your body into weapons. The blades are enchanted, made to fit anyone who wields them. Up until now, I have not found anyone worthy of wielding these blades, but you are worthy of it. Now, follow me and I will show you the katas. You will first practice without the blades, then you will use the blades and then, finally, you will be given the bladed armor."

"Yes, Jashin-sama." Naruto said and followed the god obediently.

--LINE--

Shinigami stood in front of Yuroichi and Ichigo with a grin on his face.

"Now. You obviously know of Shikai and Bankai, but there is one more release to a zanpakuto, one who only I have gotten. But, like I said, you have limitless potential. This one requires harmony though Yuroichi can't use it because she doesn't have a zanpakuto. Therefore, you will be learning a new hand-to-hand combat style developed by yours truly. First, Yuroichi. Go and sit by that tree over there. I will explain the basics of the final release before teaching you."

Yuroichi only nodded with a bored look on her face and went to sit down by the tree about twenty feet away from Shinigami.

"Now, Ichigo. This final release doesn't really have a name. I just call it Harmony, because it requires just that. It'll be harder to achieve Harmony for you because of your inner hollow. You are not to beat it into submission. You are to attain peace with it. You are to operate at 100 percent. You must be able to trust each other completely."

"I can do that." Ichigo said with a nod making Shinigami sigh.

"It's not that easy. You can't just say, 'I trust you.' You must feel that you can leave your life in his hands and he must feel the same for you. You must be able to, for example, be able to trust him enough to take control over your body without fearing that he might hurt your friends."

Ichigo stared at Shinigami.

"Why do you have to make things so hard?" he asked making Shini (I'm gonna call him that) burst out laughing.

--LINE--

"Gaara." Kami said as she looked at the stoic redhead. "Your training will consist of training your current abilities to perfection. No, beyond perfection. Angel, you will practice controlling your vampire mode."

"You mean I have to turn into one of those green things again?" Angel asked with wide eyes.

"No. Not necessarily. Your looks will differ in every dimension, only your behavior will remain the same. You need to go into a comatose state and confront your inner demons, only then can you unlock your true powers. The two of you will also play Shougi against each other."

"What's Shougi?" Angel asked.

"It's like Chess, only harder. It is to increase your strategic capabilities."

--LINE--

"Spike!" Jashin shouted, calling the blond vampire over to them. "I have new orders for you."

"Oh yeah? What orders?" Spike asked as he sheathed his short sword.

"You, just like Angel, must be able to control your vampire mode. You will go over to a tree, sit down and meditate. Once you enter a comatose like state, you will have to track down your inner demon, confront the fucker and whip his demonic ass into submission."

"A fine choice of words, Jashin-sama." Naruto said with a grin as he kicked the air, getting used to the added weights on his arms and legs.

"Thank you, Naruto. I was quite proud of that sentence as well." Jashin said with an identical grin while Spike shook his head as he sat down with his legs crossed.

--LINE--

'My mind is a graveyard?' Angel thought as he looked around his mindscape, a dark and foggy graveyard. 'Isn't that a little cliché for a vampire?'

A growl was heard from behind him.

'And that would be me.' Angel thought as he turned around, spotting himself in vampire mode.

Angel 2 just glared at the original.

"You obviously know why I'm here." Angel said as he took the claymore off his back, Angel 2 doing the same. "So let's get this over with."

And with that, both of them charged, swords clashing as Angel 2 mimicked Angel's moves precisely.

'Oh, yeah... He's me...' Angel thought grimly.

--LINE--

"Come on, you asshole! We need this in order to survive!" Ichigo shouted, standing in his own mindscape, glaring at Hollow Ichigo who just sat there, slurping sake.

"No way, Aibou (Partner/Pal/Accomplice/Companion, whichever you like best)." H Ichigo said with a grin. "It's too dangerous, and I don't wanna die."

"Shirosaki..." Ichigo said as he sat down in front of H Ichigo, now named Shirosaki. "You have to trust me. I'm not going to die. Well, I will if you don't. That's why we're doing this. We need this upgrade in order to be able to survive!"

"How do we know that, Aibou? Huh? Not even the fucking gods know what's on the fifth plane!"

"I know that Shinigami told me not to beat you into submission, but your ass is pushing it!"

"Up yours, Aibou!"

--LINE--

"Yuroichi." Shini said as he floated over to Yuroichi. "The style you are going to learn is a style I created myself. It's called Kiseiken (Death fist). It revolves around striking at vital spots, easily destroying organs. Though your style is deadly as it is, it has nothing on a demon. They are too strong to be affected by your hits. That's why you're going to learn the Shiken."

"How long do you think it will take?" Yuroichi asked getting a shrug from Shini.

"I don't know. It might take you anything between a day and a week to learn it, though it will take a lot longer to master it."

"Then there's no time to waste. Let's get started." Yuroichi said making Shini grin.

--LINE--

"My mindscape is an empty bar?" Spike asked out loud as he stepped up to the counter, searching feverishly for any kind of alcohol. He found a bottle of scotch and poured up a glass.

He was just about to drink when a growl was heard from behind him. Not turning around, he spoke.

"Are you my inner demon?"

Another growl.

"I'll take that as a yes." Spike said and turned to look at himself in vampire mode. "So, shall we fight right away, or should we share a drink first?"

Spike 2 roared and threw a table across the room as Spike downed his drink.

"That means no, right?"

Another roar. Spike nodded.

"Okay." he said and unsheathed his short sword, Spike 2 doing the same.

Spike gave the sword a few test swings and noticed that Spike 2 mimicked his motions perfectly.

"Well, this might turn out to be a bother..." Spike said and charged, Spike 2 doing the exact same thing.

--LINE--

Five days later, Yuroichi and Naruto had learned their styles, Gaara had finished perfecting his skills as much as he could at the moment, but Angel, Spike and Ichigo were still in their minds, two battling their inner demons and one arguing with his inner hollow.

Jashin walked up to Naruto.

"Naruto. Do you remember the strength boost you get when you enter your possessed state?"

"Yeah. My strength multiplies greatly when I use it. Why?"

"That's my power." Jashin said making Naruto raise an eyebrow. Jashin sighed. "Naruto. Like we've told you, you have the potential to surpass us. My strength will only get you so far. Though the Blood Link is strong, once you reach a certain plane, the possessed state won't be enough for you to defeat your opponent. That's why I want you to train hard. Unlock your hidden powers. Once you've done that, your Blood techniques will make my own seem like child's play."

"So, you want me to surpass you, Jashin-sama?" Naruto asked, getting a nod from Jashin.

"Yes. I have already decided that if you manage to enter the fifth plane and destroy Shal Mak'ka, I will step down and let you take my place as the blood god."

Before Naruto had a chance to snap out of his chock and respond, a shinigami from the first division ran up to him.

"Naruto-dono! Yamamoto-soutaicho told me to tell you that Namikaze-san has returned from his three week mission." the shinigami said, getting a nod from Naruto.

"Good. Take me to him."

The shinigami nodded and led Naruto through Seireitei.

--LINE--

Namikaze Minato was not a happy man. His captain Kenpachi had sent him on a three week hollow hunting mission in Antarctica! What was the point of that?! He had a feeling that Yashiru was behind it. His luck didn't change when he opened the door to his home to find a tall nineteen year old with spiky, blond hair and slitted, blue eyes waiting for him when he entered.

"Good day, Yondaime-sama." Naruto said as he grinned at Minato's reaction. "Do you remember me, asshole?"

"Who are you?" Minato asked with wide eyes, seeing a near carbon copy of himself standing in front of him.

"I guess you don't remember me." Naruto said with a sigh. "Think about me being around the size of your forearm, crying on top of a giant toad." he said making Minato's eyes widen even more.

"N-Naru-"

He was interrupted by a fist connecting with his jaw.

"You made my life a living hell, _dad_!" Naruto shouted as he kicked Minato in the ribs, flipping him over on his back. Naruto took out his spike and poked it at Minato's throat. "I should fucking kill you right now, but I won't, out of respect for my mother. She loved you and I don't want to have her soul suffer. May she rest in peace."

"N-Naruto, I had no choice. The fox was-"

"Had no choice?! Of course you had a fucking choice! You may not have had a choice when you sealed that fucking fox in me, but you had a choice when you decided to keep my fucking heritage a secret until I made chunnin! I was beaten within an inch of my life every once a week! The only ones who would show me kindness were two fucking homicidal missing nins!"

"I'm sorry, Naruto! But I didn't know that the village wouldn't respect my final wish! I wanted your heritage to be kept hidden because of outside assassins! I had no idea that the village wouldn't protect you!"

Naruto sighed and stood up, pulling Minato to his feet.

"I can't stay mad at you. Mom would probably kill me if I did if I met her. Tell you what. You have to supply me with booze during my entire stay here, and I'll forgive you." he said making Minato raise an eyebrow.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Let's go to the nearest bar."

--LINE--

"What the hell?!" Spike shouted as he held a deep gash in his side, panting as he did. Spike 2 stood there, not tired in the slightest, not a single scratch on him. You're me, yet I can't fucking keep up with you! Why?!"

Spike 2 just growled and charged with a vertical slash.

"Shit!" Spike exclaimed and blocked the blow with his own sword.

--LINE--

"Come on!"

"No way, Aibou!"

"Please?"

"NO!"

"Bastard..."

"I know."

--LINE--

Angel was not fairing very well. He was sporting several slash marks over his body and his inner demon was pissing him off!

Suddenly, he came to a revelation and his eyes widened when he noticed that he was leaning against a cross.

--LINE--

Spike groaned as he landed on two broken chair legs, shaped like a cross.

'It doesn't burn...'

His eyes widened.

--LINE--

'He's the vampire in here, not me!' both Spike and Angel thought in unison.

--LINE--

Spike picked up a broken chair leg and held it over his sword, shaping a cross.

Spike 2 recoiled backwards as the cross was placed about an inch away from his face.

"HAHA!! You like this?!" Spike shouted as he quickly lashed out with his sword, trying to hit Spike 2 in the heart, but hit him in the lung instead. He pulled out the blade and shaped the cross again. "Come closer! I dare you, no, I double dare you, motherfucker, come closer!" he shouted as he lashed out again, hitting Spike 2 in the shoulder this time.

--LINE--

Angel quickly dropped his sword before snapping the stone cross off the tombstone and holding it up to Angel 2 who quickly recoiled backwards.

"Come on, beasty." he said as he swung the cross, nailing the vampire on the jaw, knocking him to the ground and making him drop his sword. While he was on the ground, Angel pressed the cross against his face while picking up a thick branch from the ground.

"See ya." he said and drove the make shift stake into the vampires heart, turning him into a pile of dust.

--LINE--

Spike stood above a pile of ash while wiping some of it off his blade.

'I think I deserve a drink for this.' he thought as he was pulled out of his mindscape.

--LINE--

Spike and Angel simultaneously opened their eyes and went off to do whatever they wanted to do. Angel went off to find Gaara and challenge him to a game of Shougi while Spike went off to find the nearest bar.

--LINE--

"The council told her you were dead?!" a drunken Minato shouted with wide eyes that were burning with rage as he got an explanation from an equally drunk Naruto.

"Yeah! After infiltrating Konoha after my sensei's death, finding your letter and a picture of you and mom, I went out to find her. I found her piss drunk in an old lodging town, screaming about how the bastards from Konoha killed her son. I walked up to her and introduced myself, earning myself a hug that actually broke my neck. I was extremely glad that I had already devoted myself to Jashin-sama when I met her. She, Gaara and I traveled around for three years. Then she became sick. She told me that if I actually died and found you somewhere in the afterlife, I wouldn't hurt you, too much. She also asked me not to be too mad at you. Mom was such a sweet woman..."

"I know... That's why I married her..." Minato said as they both stared at their sake.

Naruto downed his drink and picked up a whole new bottle.

"I dedicate this drink to my mom, the kindest, most loving woman to have ever grazed this fucking reality and the one before that!" he shouted as he stood up, Minato doing the same, picking up his own bottle.

"Yeah! To Kushina-hime!"

All the other drunks in the bar, glad to have an excuse to drink, raised their glasses.

"To Kushina-hime!" they bellowed making the two spiky haired blonds grin.

"I see you've gotten a head start on me." Spike said, suddenly entering the bar.

"Yeah. You gotta drink fast if you wanna catch up to my awesome drinking skills!" Naruto exclaimed as he started downing his sake.

"I'm not one to back down from a challenge." Spike said as he grabbed the sake bottle that was just handed to him by the bartender.

--LINE--

"Where do you think Naruto and Spike are?" Gaara asked Angel as he moved his Shougi piece.

"I don't know and I don't care."

--LINE--

"Watch yourselves, losers!" Yuroichi shouted as she started chugging down her sake, sitting at Naruto's, Spike's and Minato's table. "I never lose a drinking game!"

"Sake!" Kyouraku Shunsui shouted as he held up his own bottle of sake. Everyone held up their sake bottles in a toast, though Minato did it halfheartedly since he was half asleep with his face planted in the dango.

"Sake!"

Meanwhile, Soifon, Yoruichi's vice captain who had stepped down from the captain's position when Yuroichi came back to the Gotei 13, and Ise Nanao, Shunsui's vice captain, stood on the side lines, watching the drinking spectacle.

"I'm surprised none of them has gotten alcohol poisoning yet..." Nanao said as she stared at the mountain of empty sake bottles next to the table.

--LINE--

"What's it gonna take for you to trust me completely?" Ichigo asked making Shirosaki grin.

"Let me take over your body for the next day. In order for this thing to work, you need to trust me as well, right?"

"Right."

"So, let me take over your body. Trust that I won't do anything to harm your friends."

Ichigo sighed.

"Fine. Tomorrow morning, you can take over my body."

"Great! That's the spirit, Aibou!"

--LINE--

The five drinkers sat around the table, rocking to the sides in a slow beat.

_**The king and his men**_

_**Stole the queen from her bed**_

_**And bound her in her bones**_

_**The seas be ours, and by the powers**_

_**Where we will, we'll roam**_

_**Yo-Ho, all hands**_

_**Hoist the colors high!**_

_**Heave-Ho, thieves and beggars**_

_**Never shall we die!**_

_**Now some have died and some are alive**_

_**And others sail on the sea**_

_**With the keys to the cage**_

_**And the devil to pay**_

_**We lay to fiddler's green**_

Now they started stomping to the slow beat.

_**Yo-Ho, haul together!**_

_**Hoist the colors high!**_

_**Heave-Ho, thieves and beggars!**_

_**Never shall we die!**_

_**The bell has been raised**_

_**From its watery grave**_

_**Hear its sepulchral tone**_

_**A call to all, pay heed the squall**_

_**And turn your sails to home**_

_**Yo-Ho, haul together!**_

_**Hoist the colors high!**_

_**Heave-Ho, thieves and beggars!**_

_**Never shall we die!**_

_**The king and his men**_

_**Stole the queen from her bed**_

_**And bound her in her bones**_

_**The seas be ours, and by the powers**_

_**Where we will, we'll roam**_

Suddenly, Naruto burst out laughing.

"Why the fuck are we singing a pirate's song?"

"I don't know!" Spike said with a shrug. "Why did we sing for West Ham United when we got here?"

"For the same reason we're singing a pirate's song." Naruto said with a grin.

Suddenly, Minato fell off his chair and laid passed out on the floor.

"We have a loser!" Shunsui shouted with a grin before he too fell to the ground.

Naruto, Spike and Yuroichi grinned to each other, nodded and passed out, their heads slamming into the table.

--LINE--

The meditating Ichigo, now possessed by Shirosaki, stood up and stretched.

"Ah, fresh air! I haven't been out for a long time. This feels really good."

He looked around with a grin on his face.

"Now to find some women."

--LINE--

Naruto woke up in a dressing room, a women's dressing room.

"How the fuck did I end up here?" he asked out loud as he stood up, relishing in the pounding in his head. Being a masochist really helped when you suffered from a hangover. The pain was refreshing to him.

Once outside the seventh squad building, however he ended up there, he started his walk towards the training grounds, eager to continue his training in order to unlock his powers. Just then, a huge guy with spiky, black hair with bells on the end of the spikes with an eye patch covering his left eye landed in front of him with a grin on his face and a small, pink haired girl on his shoulder.

"Yo." he said, the maniacal, bloodthirsty grin still on his face.

"Yo." Naruto said calmly.

"I heard you are the strongest in your little group." the man said and pointed at the pink haired girl before pointing at himself. "This is Yashiru, my vice captain. I am Zaraki Kenpachi, captain of the eleventh squad and I want to fight you!" the newly named Kenpachi exclaimed with a grin making Naruto sigh.

"Usually, I don't like to fight this fucking early in the morning." Naruto said as he took the scythe off his back. "But since I am currently relishing in the pains of a nice hangover, I guess I can comply."

"Great!" Kenpachi exclaimed and opened his kimono to reveal a scarred chest. "Now, since I'm such a good sport, I'll let you make the first blow. You can even make it a one hit kill."

"Now where's the fun in that?" Naruto asked as he leaned against his scythe. "It's boring if your prey doesn't even run or try to fight back. Now come on. I doubt that you made captain just by letting your opponents hit you." he said as he took a stance. "Show me your moves, Patch."

Kenpachi's grin widened as he unsheathed his sword.

"I definitely like you, boy. But I think you're gonna regret not taking advantage of that opportunity." he said and charged, stabbing Naruto in the gut.

"Wow, Ken-chan. He went down fast!" the little blob of energy on his shoulder exclaimed and jumped down on the ground as she watched the blood drip off Kenpachi's sword.

"I know." Kenpachi said, a solemn look on his face. Suddenly, Naruto's body jerked as he let out a quiet snort.

"Is that it?" he asked as he looked up with a raised eyebrow. "Is that all you got, Patch?!" he shouted as he lashed out with his leg, impacting in Kenpachi's stomach, sending him flying through a long line of buildings.

Naruto, with Kenpachi's sword still in his stomach, laughed.

"This pain isn't even enough to get me riled up, Patch!" he shouted as he charged after Kenpachi who'd drawn quite a crowd with his destruction.

Kenpachi, popping his head out of the rubble he was in, looked up just in time to dodge out of the way from Naruto's incoming scythe.

Naruto pulled the sword out of his stomach, ignoring the blood gushing from his would, and tossed it to Kenpachi.

"You can do better than that, Patch."

Grinning like a madman, Kenpachi picked up his sword.

"This is great. I thought you died from that stab. I'm glad to see you didn't!" he said and charged, Naruto sweatdropping at his recklessness. He easily ducked under a vicious swing and lashed out with his leg again, nailing Kenpachi on the jaw. He quickly got up and hit the stumbling Kenpachi's nose with a flying knee kick.

Kenpachi grinned like a maniac as he started slashing away at Naruto, occasionally drawing blood, though Naruto acted as if he didn't.

"It's the end!" Kanpachi shouted as he did a horizontal slash, separating Naruto's head from his shoulders. The problem was that the blond's body was still standing and Naruto still had his grin on his face.

"That's better!" Naruto's head shouted as the body took the scythe off its back. "Show him how it's done!" he shouted before staring in front of him, at an empty spot on the street. "Hey, is that a rubber duck?"

The crowd, Kenpachi and even Naruto's body sweatdropped as the blood loss was starting to get to the head.

"Time out!" Gaara suddenly called as he stepped in between Kenpachi and the body. He grabbed the body by the shoulder and started pulling it towards the head. "I need to take care of it." he said and picked up the head by the hair.

"Hey! Watch the hair, you fucking bubblehead!" Naruto shouted. Gaara just sighed as he reattached the head and took out needle and thread. This was the fifth time Naruto had lost his head. There was one time when the body actually forgot the head and left the battlefield.

"Relax." he said and started sewing.

A few seconds later, Naruto was rolling his head around, trying to get used to the weird feeling.

"I really gotta stop this. A battle is no place to lose your head." he said and burst out laughing as he looked around. When he saw that no one else was laughing, he stopped. "Get it? Lose your head? No? Well, fuck you all. Let's pick up where we left off, Patch."

"Let's." Kenpachi said as Naruto raised his scythe.

Naruto rushed in, delivering a flurry of vicious swipes, all directed at a vital organ. Though he held back. It wouldn't be any fun otherwise.

"Hey, Patch." Naruto said after having putting a deep slash wound in Kenpachi's chest. "I know you're holding back." he said and glared. "Don't take me so lightly."

Kenpachi stared at Naruto for a while before bursting out laughing and putting a hand over his eye patch.

"You amuse me, Blondie. Alright. I'll stop holding back, but if your power is dwarfed compared to mine, and you're not a challenge anymore, I will torture you slowly to death."

Naruto grinned.

"Sounds good to me. Now, show me your power, Zaraki Kenpachi!"

Kenpachi tore off his eye patch, resulting in an explosion of reiatsu, pushing some of the spectators to their knees while the rest fell down with real trouble breathing.

Naruto's grin looked like a carbon copy of Kenpachi's own.

"This is great! Now this is a power that can actually challenge me!" he said and charged at Kenpachi.

Their blades clashed, causing a huge shockwave that shook the entire Seireitei. With their blades still grinding against each other, Naruto jumped onto Kenpachi and quickly sank his teeth into his neck before pulling back, ripping off a chuck of flesh and jumping back.

Kenpachi held his bleeding bite wound and grinned.

"Using your teeth?" he asked getting a shrug from Naruto as he swallowed out the piece of flesh in his mouth.

"Hey, You use every weapon at your disposal, right?" he asked and charged again with a vertical slash. Kenpachi blocked it and Tried to kick the blond who jumped back before charging in again. Every time their weapons clashed, a lour boom was heard throughout Seireitei. The spectators were in chock. None of the captains could keep up with Kenpachi without using Shikai or Bankai! And this blond was just swinging his scythe around ignoring whatever slash wounds he got.

Kenpachi suddenly grabbed his sword with both hands, slamming it into the side, causing Naruto to spin around.

A glancing cut quickly caught him in the back, but he retaliated by delivering a vicious roundhouse kick to Kenpachi's temple, sending the scarred man flying.

Due to the force he just, swinging around with that kick, a seam on Naruto's neck loosened, resulting in a spray of blood coming out of the wound.

"God damn it, Gaara! Can't you do this properly?! Kakuzu was a lot better at this than you!"

"Hey!" Gaara growled, glaring from his spot in the crowd. "Watch it! Kakuzu-sensei had a lot more experience than I do."

Naruto glared back at Gaara as he leaned his head a little to the right, closing the sound.

"Well, you still suck at it." he said and charged at Kenpachi who was currently getting back on his feet.

"This is great!" he shouted as he blocked a horizontal slash from Naruto. "That's good! Keep it sharp like that!"

Naruto pushed Kenpachi back and unleashed a devastating assault of slashing which the scarred man barely dodged or blocked. Naruto raised his scythe as if he was about to do a vertical slash, but when Kenpachi raised his sword to block it, he swung it around him, going for an upward slash, connecting with Kenpachi's hip, going all the way up to his shoulder, spraying blood all over the Jashinist.

Kenpachi froze. He fell to the ground with a look of amusement mixed with surprise on his face.

Naruto sighed.

"This was way too early for me..." he said and scratched his chest with his left hand while he leaned against the scythe with his right in a lazy manner. Then he picked up the scythe and strapped it to his back before looking down at Kenpachi. "That was fucking fun, Patch. I haven't had a fight like that in a while. Hopefully, we'll do it again some time."

And with that, he left the scene while a few shinigamis from the fourth squad came to pick up the unconscious Kenpachi whose surprised look on his face had turned into an excited grin.

--LINE--

Later, Naruto sat under a tree, meditating, when clapping was heard.

Opening an eye, he saw Ichigo leaning against the tree in front of him with a smirk on his face.

"Ichigo. What are you doing here?" Naruto asked making Ichigo's smirk widen.

"That was quite a fight. Only Ichigo is the only one except for that old man Yamamoto who's taken Kenpachi down without using Bankai." he said as he walked up to Naruto who now saw that the whites in his eyes were black and the irises were a yellowish orange.

"You're not Ichigo, are you?"

"Nope." Ichigo said and sat down. "I'm his 'inner demon.' I'm called Shirosaki, nice to meet you."

"I can't really say the same to you." Naruto said making Shirosaki laugh.

"Ha! I like you, Naruto! When you feel like it, I wanna fight you. If you were strong enough to take down Kenpachi, then you're strong enough to give me a challenge."

"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm actually training right now." Naruto said as he closed his eyes. Shirosaki nodded.

"Trying to get stronger, huh?" he asked as he leaned forward. "Tell me the truth. Do you think we have any chance of winning this thing? I mean, can we become strong enough to kill a man who's stronger than the gods?"

"I doubt it." Naruto said calmly. "I'm guessing you don't wanna die?"

"Correct."

"Well, I look at things this way; we all gotta die some time, right? And if we're gonna die, it might as well be with a bang, taking down a man who's stronger than the gods." Naruto said with a grin, causing Shirosaki to grin in return.

Naruto placed a hand on his neck and traced the stitches.

"Good. All healed up." he said and took a small knife out of a pocket on the side of his boot, cutting the stitches and ripping them out of his neck, one by one.

"So, how about we ditch training and go get a drink?" Shirosaki asked making Naruto smile.

"Now you're speaking my language." he said and got up.

--LINE--

Later, at the bar, Naruto was currently flirting with a bar girl while Yuroichi, Shirosaki, Angel, Spike and Gaara sat at the table with him.

"This is one big mission we have ahead of us..." Yuroichi said as he downed her sake. "Do you guys think we can do it?"

"It's like Naruto said." Shirosaki said with a grin as the bar girl sat down on Naruto's lap. "We're all gonna die eventually. If we're gonna go out, we might as well go out with a bang. That's what got me to agree to this."

Meanwhile, the girl leaned forward with her face only inches away from Naruto's own.

"I heard you beat Zaraki-Taicho. I bet if I kissed you right now, you'd taste like a wild beast." she said making Naruto grin.

"Considering what I just ate, you'd be right." he said making Gaara sweatdrop while the girl looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, nothing."

--LINE--

Done!

I got the 'Considering what I just ate' thing from MGS: Flash Collab DISC 02 on Newgrounds.

Remember to review!!


	5. Sorry

**Sorry to everyone who thought this was a new chapter, but I've been thinking about this story. Somehow, I just don't feel right about having Ichigo and Yoruichi in the Über Troopers... So, I want your opinions. Should I rewrite the story and put Dante and Vergil (or Nero) in it instead of Ichigo and Yoruichi?**

**Please let me know.**


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